Top 5 Custody Mistakes Parents Should Avoid During Divorce In Los Angeles, California

In this article, you can discover…

• How poor communications with your ex can harm your child custody case.
• The damaging consequences of badmouthing the other parent.
• How an experienced attorney can help you document communication and respond wisely to a difficult spouse.

How Can Poor Communication With My Ex During A Custody Case Cause Harm?

For one, poor communication with your ex can negatively impact your children. Everyone loves their children, whether they show it well or not, and wants the best for their children. To that effect, your poor communication with your ex-husband or ex-wife will have a direct impact on your children’s well-being.

Whatever does or does not happen in court, you will still have months or years ahead where you must deal with your ex legally. You are still technically tied to them, and to best preserve your relationship with your children, you must learn how to communicate decently with the other parent.

Legally speaking, if every conversation with your ex is difficult, you’ll get an “order for Talking Parents”, meaning that all of your communication with your ex must happen through an app where it will be recorded. If you’re being snarky, if you’re being difficult, or if you’re being mean, your words and your tone will be visible in black and white and can be taken to court.

The order may also stipulate that if you do not respond to the other parent’s questions or concerns within 48 hours through this app, they get to make the final decision.

For the sake of your child, you must have decent, clear communication with the other parent. You can not simply go silent on them.

Why Is Ignoring Court-Ordered Parenting Plans Risky During A Child Custody Dispute?

If you are ignoring orders (including parenting plans), this is the easiest way to receive even more restrictive orders. No judge is ever going to say, “Oh, look! He can’t follow orders. Let’s just give him what he wants”.

If you can not follow a court’s orders, you are going to get even less of what you want. To get what you want, you must follow the court’s orders, even if you don’t like or agree with them.

Attorney Jordana Better is a respected, focused family law attorney serving California. Since 2016, she’s helped clients just like you navigate their divorce to protect their child custody rights and ensure their case is handled smoothly and with care.

Have questions, or in need of legal guidance in a high-net-worth divorce? Reach out to the Law Office of Jordana N. Better for an initial consultation today.

How Does Badmouthing A Co-Parent Affect My Custody Case And My Child’s Well-Being?

Every custody order in California has a non-disparagement clause. While difficult to practically enforce, this clause prohibits you from badmouthing the other parent to or in front of your child. Violating this clause will certainly look bad for you in a custody case.

The court may also make you responsible for preventing badmouthing from grandparents and new significant others, too. The court may also prohibit your child from being around these people if they can not stop speaking against the other parent.

On an emotional level, badmouthing your ex can cause serious emotional harm to your children. My firm has seen a huge increase in children of divorcing parents winding up in therapy because of the emotional harm caused when kids are put in the middle of their parents’ conflicts. Your child is not your confidant or your therapist, and should never serve that role.

How Can Failing To Document Communication And Agreements Affect My Chances In A Custody Battle?

People lie, and parents often lie in family court. In the middle, a judge is trying to figure out whose testimony is the most believable. To help mitigate these issues, clear documentation is your best option.

This is why apps like “Talking Parents” are so incredibly helpful. All of your communication is right there in black and white, and phone calls are transcribed for you. Other apps, such as “Our Family Wizard”, actually have a built-in tone meter that will alert you if your tone becomes snarky.

In short, documentation of conversations acts as your facts in court. I can not over-emphasize how crucial documenting your conversations with the other parent is, and records of these conversations are the first thing your attorney should be asking for.

How Parents Can Unintentionally Sabotage Their Own Custody Rights

Sadly, I have seen many cases where parents have unwittingly sabotaged their custody rights. It happens all the time. I handled one case where the mother was texting the father ridiculous, outlandish things at all hours, and the father simply ignored those text messages.

Unfortunately, this made the father look bad, as it made him seem as though he wasn’t responding to the mother’s valid communications. It appeared as though the mother was trying to co-parent, while he was shutting down. In reality, the father was trying to co-parent, but the mother kept changing her mind constantly. Still, a lack of documented responses from him did not help his case.

The best way to avoid sabotaging your case with a difficult parent is to keep lines of documented communication open and frequent. No matter how difficult conversations may be, you can not simply go silent. This could cost you months at a time with your children and, ultimately, your custody rights.

Instead of withdrawing, always respond promptly and respectfully to all communications from the other parent. This will go a long way in helping a judge see you as cooperative, responsible, and engaged in your child’s life.

Still Have Questions? Ready To Get Started?

For more information on child custody mistakes to avoid during a Los Angeles divorce, an initial consultation is your next best step. Get the information and legal answers you are seeking by calling (310) 351-4745 today.