For many separated or divorced parents, the holiday season brings joy but also adds stress. From dividing holiday schedules to managing family traditions and communication, co-parents often face unique challenges this time of year. In this article, we’ll explore…
- Practical strategies for dividing school breaks and holiday time.
- How to communicate meaningfully during the holidays.
- Effective ways to handle disputes and protect your children from unnecessary conflict.
What Are Fair Ways To Divide School Breaks And Holiday Parenting Time In Custody Cases?
No matter what percentage of custody you have, holidays are typically divided evenly. That said, there are many ways to make it work, depending on your family. Smaller holidays like one-day holidays or long weekends are often alternated each year. One parent takes the odd years, the other the even years.
Longer breaks, such as Thanksgiving, Christmas, spring break, and sometimes fall or winter breaks, provide more flexibility. You and the other parent may alternate weeks, split the break in half, or keep your regular schedule and just alternate the holiday itself.
When both parents can cooperate, schedules can be customized to reflect traditions. For example, one parent may always host Christmas Eve while the other celebrates Christmas dinner. If you cannot agree, courts will impose a standard alternating schedule.
The key thing to remember: divorce means you give up half. You must accept that you won’t always have your children for every holiday, every year.
How Can Divorced Or Separated Parents Communicate Effectively During The Holiday Season?
The quality of co-parent communication varies widely. In the best scenarios, you and the other parent coordinate smoothly, much like you did when married. But in high-conflict situations, communication often breaks down.
Clear, detailed custody orders can reduce the need for direct communication. Orders should specify exact start and end times, pickup and drop-off details, and holiday schedules. If you want flexibility, you can always agree informally, but the court order provides a reliable fallback.
If you and the other parent struggle to communicate, co-parenting apps such as Our Family Wizard or Talking Parents can be invaluable. These tools:
- Provide calendars and scheduling features.
- Transcribe calls and messages.
- Flag negative or aggressive tones before messages are sent.
Ultimately, the goal is to minimize conflict while keeping the focus on your children.
Jordana Better, founder of the Law Office of Jordana N. Better in California, has extensive experience helping parents navigate custody challenges during the holidays and beyond. She understands how stressful this season can be when schedules, traditions, and emotions collide, and she has successfully guided countless families toward workable solutions that keep children’s best interests at the center. Whether through clear custody orders, negotiation, or mediation, Jordana Better provides compassionate yet practical legal support.
If holiday co-parenting disputes are impacting your family, contact her office today to protect your time with your children.
Should I Involve My Children In Holiday Custody Scheduling Decisions?
No, your children will not have a role in deciding holiday schedules. Instead, courts in California make decisions based on the best interests of your child. That generally means ensuring your child spends significant, quality time with both parents.
That doesn’t always align with each parent’s view of what is best. For example, if you celebrate Christmas extensively, you may not automatically get Christmas Day every year. And a parent of a different faith may be entitled to holiday time for their traditions, even if they don’t celebrate Christmas.
Courts rely on standardized forms that rotate holidays between parents, but those forms lack detail. That’s why it’s important to create specific, customized holiday orders, ones that account for school schedules, traditions, and timing. Without these details spelled out, you risk unnecessary disputes.
What Happens If One Parent Refuses To Follow The Holiday Visitation Schedule?
When a parent fails to follow a holiday visitation order, the response can vary by county. In some places, law enforcement will enforce the order, while in others, the parent must go back to court.
Consequences can include:
- Police enforcement of the order.
- Immediate orders for the return of the child.
- Loss of parenting time for the parent who violated the order.
Courts take violations seriously, especially when one parent unilaterally withholds the children. Such actions often backfire and result in reduced parenting time.
How Can Mediation Help Co-Parents Resolve Holiday Custody Disputes?
Mediation provides you and the other parent with a chance to resolve disputes without costly and stressful litigation. It can take different forms:
Divorce Mediation
Both of you meet together with a mediator to work through the entire divorce, including custody and holiday schedules.
Issue-Specific Mediation
You and the other parent, with or without attorneys present, work with a mediator to resolve particular disagreements—such as holiday scheduling.
The benefit of mediation is that both of you retain control. If you cannot agree, a judge will make the decision, and court-imposed solutions are usually rigid and less tailored to your family’s needs.
What Are The Most Common Disputes Between Co-Parents During The Holiday Season?
Holiday disputes often reflect the same challenges parents face throughout the year, that is, conflicts over schedules, exchanges, and parenting styles. Holidays can intensify these conflicts because schedules change and travel is involved. One side of the family may have larger gatherings or more traditions, making children more eager to spend time there.
It’s easy to unintentionally overlook how chaotic frequent transitions can be for children. Parents who co-parent well typically avoid these issues altogether, while those who already struggle often find holidays especially challenging.
Still Have Questions? Ready To Get Started?
For more information on co-parenting during holidays in California, an initial consultation is your next best step. Get the information and legal answers you are seeking by calling (888) 456-2040 today.
Jordana Better, founder of the Law Office of Jordana N. Better in California, has extensive experience helping parents navigate custody challenges during the holidays and beyond. She understands how stressful this season can be when schedules, traditions, and emotions collide, and she has successfully guided countless families toward workable solutions that keep children’s best interests at the center. Whether through clear custody orders, negotiation, or mediation, Jordana Better provides compassionate yet practical legal support.
If holiday co-parenting disputes are impacting your family, contact her office today to protect your time with your children.
